Ride your little train, Ricky

Ever get stalled? I mean, really stalled? As in, you can’t muster two adjacent brain cells (or the will to mobilize them) to accomplish any useful task? Or provide any sort of constructive, thoughtful feedback or advice? That’s me, as useless as a White House Feedback Form. Oh, and if you happen to work with me, I’m just kidding. Get back to your files.

So, are they gone? Good, because they have been so annoying, wanting answers and shit all day long… um, not you Kathy, or Neelam, or Claire. It’s everyone else, including the person who told us it wasn’t her job to find out what happened to the $90,00 left over on that canceled project.

Also, I honestly wish I could say that after all these years I’ve developed a thicker skin than the one I’m wearing, but that whole deal with the CEO yesterday just tilted me. It was nothing, a blip, a non-issue, but it took about three years off my life and let more than a little air out of my tires. I’ve been trying to fill them back up with Hershey’s Kisses all day.

So, in an effort to get something useful done, I tried to organize folders and categories for my lovely new photoblog. Not ten seconds into it, I moved the stupid index file down a level, and now I can’t move it back. I’m sooo weeeetarded.

Luckily, this made me feel much better. In fact, I feel like a literary genius. Thank you McSweeny’s, thank you. I’m all fired up again.

RANDOM BOOK DEDICATIONS READ FROM THE BARGAIN BIN

BY BRANDON ROGERS

- – - -

Gothic Birdhouses, Feeders and Baths

“This book is dedicated to my children, Robin and Jay, who, like little birds, will soon spread their wings and fly, fly away. May you soar unshackled away, away. Fear not the hunter’s blast.”

The Moldova Lonely Planet Hiking Guide

“My dear Brendan, upon every hillock, atop every spire, below the darkened skies, your image was my faithful companion during my long journey into this Bessarabia. It was, indeed, the most faithful you’ve ever been.”

The Unauthorized Rod Steiger Companion

“Ahh! Peerless and misconstrued, inimitable Rod Steiger. You were the contender, you were the heat of the night, you made Amityville much less horrible. Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry, for surely God will take you out in his surrey. Oh yes, my friend, the one with the fringe on top. ”

Telephone Triage Protocols for Nursing Assistants

“To the family of Steven Hofford, words cannot express my deepest regret. Please accept this training manual as proof that I will not rest until every nursing assistant understands that patients rarely make jokes about life-threatening emergencies over the telephone.”

Housebreaking for Sugar Gliders

“Sara. Tiny packages often contain great love. Tiny packages sometimes leak their contents upon the rug of life. Tiny packages rarely withstand angry feet. I forgive you.”

Buying and Restoring Vintage Arcade Games

“This book is dedicated to Ricky Schroeder. You had it all on Silver Spoons, but could you beat Tempest without using the super-zapper? I think not. Too much time on that little train, it seems. Ride your little train, Ricky. Ride that little train to hell.”

0 Responses to Ride your little train, Ricky

  1. Michelle March 9, 2004 at 4:43 pm #

    ohhhh but good things happened today too…you should be excited…you hit and surpassed the 20,000 today..Congrats!!

  2. Genuine March 9, 2004 at 6:26 pm #

    Do you want me to come down there and kick a little ass?  We’ll teach those guys to touch your tires!

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