What I Learned This Afternoon

(With a nod to Lee’s What I learned This Week; I can’t have a list that long so I’ll do mine on Tuesday.)

  1. There is very little I can’t do with a 75-foot dog lead, a pulley, a handful of u-bolts and a stepladder.
  2. The answer to the question: What kind of fool loses track of her hammer?
  3. I can’t do shit when it comes to screwing a quarter-inch eyebolt into a stud.
  4. But if you ever want to try, make sure you don’t carve up the eye part with metal pliers. A baby sock is the perfect size and buffer consistency.
  5. Never, ever lose track of your stud finder. It just makes you a dork pounding useless holes in drywall.
  6. Drywall doesn’t stand up well to holes drilled in proximity.
  7. Or to hammers.
  8. I loooooove pulleys.
  9. And u-bolts. You can make anything stay. Taming a wire into a loop? What a rush.
  10. People look at you funny when you do garage projects in your jammies.
  11. Especially green, stripey ones.
  12. It’s appalling how much I’m looking forward to pounding grommets in canvas dropcloths so I can plug in some shower rings and hang those suckers.
  13. I can spend hours teetering on a ladder and brushing all kinds of insects away without injury, but I will burn the shit out of my wrist taking Smiles out of the oven.
  14. I can’t WAIT to stop staring at those ugly storage shelves. Instead it will look like a photography studio with the billowy canvas backdrop. And oil stains on the floor.
  15. I smell another project coming on after this one.

0 Responses to What I Learned This Afternoon

  1. joeybagOdonuts October 5, 2005 at 6:53 am #

    Oh, “Learned,” I thought you were speaking french :ahhh:

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