It’s so beautiful outside today, and so dark inside

I can’t talk about a single thing that’s weighing on me at the moment, and I feel like I’ve been kicked in the gut with steel-toed Mephistos.

I don’t want to eat, I don’t want to go out, I don’t want to talk to anyone, I only want to see my kids, but they’ve gone to Tahoe with their dad, which I’ve just learned from his house mate. You’d think I might have gotten a note about that. All I can do is curl up in Daphne’s bed and wait for tomorrow.

What have I done? What kind of karmic shit is this? What is the universe telling me NOW?

0 thoughts on “It’s so beautiful outside today, and so dark inside

  1. Nicole

    Oh man I really hope it gets better soon. I know what a stress and headache/heartache it is to be on the shot end of a the karma stick. Keep your chin up girlie!

  2. rose

    wtf?
    I just don’t get it. I won’t even try with the pithy comments or cliches about how there is something better out there, waiting for you.
    Not that you need permission, but feel as bad as you want, you have it coming.

  3. Angel

    Oh ((((Mindy)))))  I wish there was more I could do for you than offer hugs (well, I’m praying too of course).

    You didn’t *do* anything.  Really shitty things happen to good people, and it’s not fair.

    Please let us know how you’re doing.  You know my email is always open as well.

    I care, and I’m worried about you.  I hope that tomorrow feels much better for you.

  4. Anonymous

    Hey, Mindy—
    I’m in the same place you are. Was so incredibly depressed today that I took an ativan and slept for five hours. I’ve had the WORST year of my life, and have been struggling a lot. There are definitely some positive things about my life, but the bad things have been so bad and so overwhelming… Let’s just say that I maybe kind of sort of can relate to what you’re feeling right now and my heart goes out to you. I’ve been reqading for years and feel like I know you and it’s been hard to read about your struggles this past year. I live nearby and would love to say, go out to lunch with you, but that would require me digging myself out of this hole I’m in, not isolating, being social… All things that just seem too difficult and too overwhelming to me right now. Just know that I’m thinking about you, if that helps at all!

  5. Kimberly

    Damn, this really sucks. I hope that something (many things?) change soon. Thinking of you and hoping you’re feeling some comfort.

  6. Lisa

    I hope things get better soon. I miss our email exchanges, but I haven’t been very good at replying to email of late. :( Thinking of you.