We got Burger King for everyone tonight (it was just easier, OK?), and when Daphne opened her Whopper she said, “Mom, I got two patties! Why are there two instead of one?”

I said, “I guess it’s your lucky day.”

Ten minutes later, she announced that she had five theories as to why she received two patties in her Whopper rather than one.

About a third of the way through the second theory, I said, “Wait! Mommy’s watching Hulk smash. You’ve got to write this down. Here, you can use my laptop,” thus guaranteeing a Monday morning post.

Here we go:

First Theory

The  first person put a patty in the hamburger, then the next person said “I bet I can do that faster!” So then that person put another patty in the hamburger. Then a third person tried to put another patty in the hamburger but he was tackled but the other two people. Then they put the hamburger in the bag, forgetting the two patties in the hamburger and gave it to me.

Second Theory

The person that put the patties in my hamburger went to a Chinese restaurant and got a fortune cookie. The cookie said, “Do something weird at work tomorrow.” So the next day the person went to work and thought “My cookie did say to do something weird.” Right then he was making a hamburger and made a two pattied hamburger. So he put it in the bag and gave it to me.

Third Theory

There was a hobo on a bench and the person felt bad and gave the hobo some money. The hobo then walked into Walmart and got a card for the person and it read “Put twice as many patties than usual tomorrow at work, sincerely, Stanley.” So the person thought, “Oh so his name is Stanley.” The next day the person put two patties in hamburger and put it into the bag and gave it to me.

Fourth Theory

A person walked into Burger King, thinking that he worked there and then quickly said,  ”Wait I don’t work here!” Right then the person went home and soon came back and applied for the job there. In about two minutes he was working on making hamburgers and he thought “Its my first day” and he made a hamburger with two patties and put it in a bag and gave it to me.

Fifth Theory

A metal chicken gave a note to the person who made my hamburger, that said “Bwok” which inspired the person the make a two-pattied hamburger and put it in a bag and gave it to me.

THE END

5 thoughts on “The Two-Patty Theory

  1. Audrey at Barking Mad!

    …And the metal chicken had just run away from The Bloggess’ house and found itself in Burger King and thought, “I’d better make myself useful before I find myself in some sort of two-patty situation!”  

    Yeah, I can’t top Daphne.  

  2. Mindy

    The best part is that she wasn’t even there. Guy brought it home.

     I’m trying to get her used to writing things down because I want more than anything for her to write something for my book. In fact, I asked all of them if they would write down a Rule for divorcing parents. Logan shrugged; Dylan said, “My advice is that parents shouldn’t ask their kids to do their writing for them.” Daphne said, “I’m not writing anything but I’ll say this: Tell people that when they’re telling the kids they’re getting divorced, hand them cupcakes first.”
    Mindy recently posted..The Two-Patty TheoryMy Profile

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