Archive | QOTD

QOTD: Yo Mama from my Mama

I swear, I don’t even have to speak to family members to get faced. I can hear them all using the same tone and inflection. For example, I sent Mom to the person who cuts my hair, and she’s had two appointments canceled on her already. She’s fed up and going to another place. I felt […]

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QOTD

Me: it’s nine o’clock. We should get up. I think the kids are all up. Guy: They are. Someone pounded on the door a couple times. Me: What? I slept right through that. What did they need? Guy: I dunno. Me: Well, who was it? Guy: I dunno. Me: Are you kidding me? Guy: It […]

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QOTD

“I may be over-thinking this, but it never seemed this complicated with a glass of Jack Daniels.” —My Southern fiancé, standing buck naked in front of a mirror, trying to perfect a bow tie.

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QOTD

Just now, I showed Guy the Blue Ball (*cymbals*) jars I decorated with raffia that we’re using for flowers Saturday. He stared in admiration. Guy: “You did that?” Me: “What? Do you think I sit around drinking bon bons?”

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