Phil and I (not Gil, Phil, and I) snuck out to a matinee to see Brokeback Mountain as part of our quest to see all of the movies nominated for Best Picture before the Oscars. There were many moments between admiring the cinematography and acting where we tried to get each other to snort Diet Coke, but the very best moment came before the movie even started.
The theater was packed, and we had to scramble for seats. We munched popcorn and watched several previews, one with a homosexual theme as was entirely appropriate. That’s what made it all the more unbelievable when as soon as the feature film began and the words “B R O K E B A C K M O U N T A I N” flashed on the screen, an older man asked loudly from his seat in the back, “Is this Theater Seven??” Someone answered yes, though it was in fact Theater Five. We froze. Two seconds later he exclaimed, “Oh, GREAT,” as he stomped down the stairs and out of the movie.