42 Rules for Divorcing with Children

Surviving the Process with Dignity and Self-­Respect

42 Rules for Divorcing With Children offers practical ways to manage a healthy divorce, build a better team in two houses, minimize stress and anxiety on all fronts, and construct relationships with open and consistent communication.
In this book you will learn:

  1. What putting the children first really means.
  2. How to preserve marital assets for you and your children.
  3. How to set reasonable ground rules for the divorce and going forward.
  4. How to set a respectful communication example so that you can divorce with dignity.

Use this book as objective advice, refer to it often, share it with others, use it as a reality check, and realize that divorce is not linear and that damage is not permanent or irreparable. If you do this well, the other parent will always be in your life. Find a way to make that tolerable for everyone, because no matter where you go or what you do, your children are tethered to both of you in an incredibly delicate and important way. Learn to accommodate each other as a gift to your children while they grow. Set good examples that will help them make their own relationship choices wisely by drawing on your positive experience. And for you, know that someday, somewhere, you will almost certainly find a partner with whom you can have a mutually respectful, loving, and responsible relationship.
This book will help divorcing parents in some simple ways that I wish I’d been helped as I stumbled my way through divorce with kids. I’m amazed at how well my Ex and I have been able to manage it and am constantly told by others that ours is an exemplary model for managing post-divorce life for our children and ourselves. You will learn how taking care of yourself will help you take care of your family. This book will help prevent divorce remorse and divided loyalties. This distillation of what I have learned from my own experience and from watching others either succeed wildly or fail spectacularly at divorcing with children is what I call Divorcing with Tenderness, Grace and Dignity. Or, failing that, with Sanity, Self-respect, and Solvency.  Learn more about author Melinda Roberts.

Advance praise:

“What I wish my parents had known when they got divorced (twice.)”
—Casey Mullins (mooshinindy.com)


“In her compulsively readable book, Mindy Roberts deconstructs the myth that couples with children can truly get divorced. With humor and insight, Mindy explains why remaining a family after divorce is crucial for the well-being of the children, and provides practical tips for reconfiguring post-divorce families. Every divorcing couple, or couple contemplating divorce, should read this book.”
—Virginia Gilbert, M.A., M.F.T., HuffPost Divorce Blogger and Therapist Specializing in High-Conflict Divorce  (www.virginiagilbertmft.com)


“In ‘42 Rules for Divorcing with Children’ author Melinda Roberts addresses some of the most significant issues divorcing parents face. Her Rules are offered with compassion and understanding along with real-world advice that can be immediately put to use. This is a smart guide that I recommend to any parents who want to avoid the heart-breaking mistakes too often made when divorce divides a family!”
—Rosalind Sedacca, Founder, Child-Centered Divorce Network (www.childcentereddivorce.com)


“Mindy Roberts’ book is a must read for anyone with children who is in the initial stages of a separation, currently separated, divorced or even those who are engaged in high conflict co-parenting. Mindy’s take on what to expect and how to realistically manage these situations- by keeping your eyes on the prize- (happy healthy adjusted children), will help keep you sane and smiling. The marker of success is not how we handle things when they are working, its how we handle things when they fall apart. You are not alone and keeping this handy book beside you will help you find the success you’re looking for- no matter how hopeless you might think things may be!”
—Diane Holcombe, RN

 Life and Wellness Coach, Supporting You Through Transitions (www.clarifyyou.com)


“As a longtime family law attorney I’ve seen the devastation that can be caused by contentious spouses battling over their children in court. And the impact of parents viewing their children as property lasts long after the divorce is finalized. Throughout ’42 Rules…’ Melinda Roberts makes it clear that our children come first. Her first-hand anecdotes are presented with reason, encouragement and, most of all, a desire to help divorcing parents maintain a positive relationship with their children…together.
—David T. Pisarra Esq. – Family Law Attorney and Author of “A Man’s Guide To Child Custody


“If you don’t think you need ‘42 Rules for Divorcing with Children,’ you’re dead wrong. If you’re not getting a divorce, your best friend, coworker, sibling, or even your mom will be – and they’ll need the 42 Rules to help them through it successfully. So go out, buy half a dozen copies of Mindy’s book, and hand your divorcing friends and relatives ’42 Rules for Divorcing with Children’ with your sympathies and the phone number of a good divorce lawyer.”
—Anne-Marie Nichols, publisher of This Mama Cooks! On a Diet


“Following just 1 of the 42 rules will definitely make the divorcing process smoother for your children. Straight forward, easy to understand, easy to follow, child centered advice…. perfect!”
—KaRae’ Carey, PhD, LPC, NCC, ACS, BC-HSP, LCAS, Founder of 
Strong Stepfamilies

Mommy Confidential: Adventures from the Wonderbelly of Motherhood

Mommy Confidential:

Adventures from the
Wonderbelly of Motherhood

Take a woman fresh out of college, plop her down in Silicon Valley, saddle her with a mortgage, let her ride the tech boom, give her three babies in four years, slap her with the tech bust, watch vicariously as her marriage disintegrates, end her career, and hand her a computer. What do you get? Mommy Confidential: Adventures from the Wonderbelly of Motherhood, a memoir in real time adapted from the wildly popular weblog, The Mommy Blog.

Mommy Confidential is a naked, brutally funny, endearingly honest chronicle of family life beset by disaster on many fronts. Mindy keeps her family together through catastrophic illness, four bouts of postpartum depression, financial peril, relationship Chernobyl, familial Waterloo, and job instability. All through it her sense of humor and her sharp, edgy, witty writing keep her together and upright.